Kimberly Rebecca Thomasson and James Gresham Stephens

April 2, 2011
Colossians 3:12-17

The common expression “fall in love” may be the one of the truest images and at the same time one of the biggest lies our culture tells. “Falling in love” is a true reflection of what happens to us at the beginning of a romantic relationship if for no other reason than that the science of biochemistry has shown that the chemicals released in the human body when we are “madly in love” are the very same chemicals at work when people suffer from certain mental illnesses. From a biochemical standpoint, it’s hard to tell the difference between “love” and insanity. Love makes us crazy.

Most of you weren’t here at the rehearsal last night to see Jay skipping down the aisle—yes, skipping—as he and Kimberly practiced the recessional. Love makes us nuts. It makes grown men skip. But the expression “fall in love” is also one of the biggest lies our culture tells us. You may fall into a romance; you may fall into each other’s arms; you may even fall into bed. But love as the Bible understands it and as the Christian faith defines it is not something you “fall” into at all.

First, the Scripture from Colossians that you chose for today begins by calling you “God’s chosen ones.” It’s true enough that the book of Colossians is referring to all baptized believers by that phrase, but your choice of this passage as important to you in your marriage puts the expression “God’s chosen ones” in a special light this afternoon. I am convinced that you did not simply fall in love with each other; you were chosen for each other by God. You did not fall into a relationship; you were drawn into it by God to be a match made in heaven lived out on earth. Scripture tells us that “unless the Lord builds the house, those who build it labor in vain” (Psalm 127:1), and the same is true of a marriage. If you are not “God’s chosen ones,” each for the other, then you have chosen in vain. The time we have spent together in the last several months has convinced me that you did not fall in love; you were chosen in love and for love.

Second, in the Bible and in the Christian faith, love is an act of will, not a spill; love is a choice you make, not a trip you take; love is a commitment, not a fall. The Scripture passage from Colossians that you chose for today says, “Above all, clothe yourselves with love.” Love is something you choose to put on every day. Some days, love is relaxed and easy, and you spend your day in sweats. Some days, though, love is a labor of sweat and even tears, and it requires the grungiest work clothes you own. Some days, love is new shoes, new shoes, a whole store full of new shoes. Some days it’s beachwear, but some days it will be long-johns and a parka, trust me. But every day, your love for each other must be an act of will, a choice you make; a commitment you clothe yourself in daily no matter what the weather is and regardless of how you feel that day.

We all know that not everyone who gets married is capable of that kind of will. Not everyone is willing to make that choice. Not everyone is committed to being faithful as long as they both shall live. But those who are and those who do mutually and together discover a God-given character and quality of life together that is like no other.

It is a life together that “was established by God in creation, and our Lord Jesus Christ adorned this manner of life by his presence and first miracle at a wedding in Cana of Galilee. Holy Scripture commends it to be honored among all people. The union of husband and wife in heart, body, and mind is intended by God for their mutual joy; for the help and comfort given one another in prosperity and adversity; and when it is God’s will, for the procreation of children and their nurture in the knowledge and love of the Lord. Therefore marriage is not to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly, but reverently, deliberately, and in accordance with the purposes for which it was instituted by God. Into this holy union Kimberly and Jay now come to be joined” (Book of Common Prayer) and commit to clothe themselves every day in their love for each other as long as they both shall live.

Photo by Wayne-Amethyst Photography, used under license of Creative Commons.